I am a miracle.

From two entangled molecules the full information of my manufacture unfolded, and now I am trillions of copies of that, trillions of cells in highly balanced, orchestrated, structured engagement. The creation of a being is a miracle.

Unknowable and uncountable chemical and electrical processes are unfolding simultaneously within the edge of my skin, maintaining an elaborate balance across thousands of interconnected and interdependent structures. Breath, blood, bone, ingestion, digestion, excretion. The panoply of the senses: consider the rods and cones of my miraculous retinas and the miraculous spiral of the cochlea. All this, and the deep…

The question was — what does freedom feel like, in yourself and in relationship?

When I think of the feeling of most expansive freedom, I imagine taking my first steps into the air of a new city, traveling alone, with no agenda, itinerary, or duty. That first touch of sunlight, as from a different sun entirely, on the skin; the first breath of new air laden with exotic scents. Anything is possible. Adventure awaits.

But what is freedom, really?

To avoid philosophical confusion, let’s assume — as a thought experiment — that we have freedom of choice. Let’s not tangle…

It begins with comparison. Comparison seems like a simple enough thing. A tiger is different from a rabbit. A blueberry is tasty; a pokeberry is poison.

In fact, scientists call our brain a comparison device. Neurologically, it is a pattern recognition machine. We match sensory inputs to patterns wired by genetics or experiences into our neural structure. We identify perfect matches (“Oh, there’s my friend Jack!”), similarities (“Gosh, that sure looks like Jack!”), and differences (“If that guy had a smaller nose, he might look like Jack.”)

The never-ending work of the brain is to process sensory data, build internal…

An Exploration in Tantric Relationship

We had taken to using the word ‘monogamish’ because nothing else seemed to fit. Our church friends wouldn’t call us monogamous, because our sexuality could sometimes include others. (Not that we told our church friends!) Perhaps most obviously, living in the vocation of tantric massage, sensual massage, and other work of the sacred intimate, it would be ludicrous to call our sexual energy exclusive.

We batted around some other labels: polyamory, ethical-non-monogamy, open, swingers, relationship anarchy. Nothing quite fit, nor captured the unique devotion we feel toward each other. The squish of monogamish seemed best.

Deepening in tantric spiritual practice…

The Ancient Lineage of the Sacred Intimate

The Temple

A warrior entered the Temple, and a leatherworker emerged.

Dusty from the road, sweating from exertion in the noonday sun, bruised, fresh with scars, and haunted by the things he had seen, and by the things he had done, the warrior stepped into the cool air of the Temple. A strong man in a plain robe welcomed him and led him past the fire and the pool of cool, clear water. A girl not yet of age, an oblate sister, took him to a place where smoke rose from braziers and a fierce priestess draped in robes of red gauze…

Extensive training, extraordinary skill, intense discipline, good health, good rest, good diet. These are the pre-conditions that make that rare event possible for the best athletes: being “in the zone.”

In the 1970’s, Mihály Csíkszentmihályi developed a psychological description of what he called “flow state” describing an experience of being fully immersed in an activity while also being expansively conscious. Csíkszentmihályi called out eight characteristic descriptors of this state:

1. Clear goals and feedback;
2. A balance between skill and the challenge;
3. Pure concentration on the task;
4. Perfect merging between action and awareness;
5. Loss of self-consciousness (but not self-awareness);
6. Altered sense of…

Perhaps you are thinking about getting a tantric massage (or a yoni massage, or a lingam massage, or a sacred spot massage, or a tantric healing session, or a sexological bodywork session, or even just a sensual massage). Maybe you already have your session planned. The difference between a good time and a powerful, life-changing session is not just a matter of finding an amazing practitioner—it is also a matter of taking your experience into your own hands. …

I was in a cab, headed home late at night. Coming down the road towards us was an ambulance, lights flashing. As the cab pulled over, I had a flash-vision of the ambulance smacking into cross traffic. I wonder why that doesn’t happen more, I thought. And then it happened.

I dreamt of an airplane smashing into a building, billowing orange flame and falling debris. A man came running out of the flame and smoke crying: “Call 911! Call 911!” I awoke from this strange dream fifteen minutes before the first plane hit.

In the world we normally experience, time…