How to Find a Tantric Healer

Whether you call it sexual healing, sensual healing, tantric healing, sexological bodywork, tantric massage, tantric instruction, or good old erotic massage… finding the right practitioner can be hard!

Are you interested in learning tantra, but don’t know where to start? Are you curious about tantric massage (or yoni massage, or lingam massage, or sensual massage) but are terrified of booking an appointment? Have you heard about tantric healing (or sexual healing, or sexological bodywork, or sacred intimacy, or sexual surrogacy, or erotic energy work) but have no idea how to find the excellent practitioner who is exactly right for you?

Before you begin looking:

Know what you want!

The single most important place to start looking for your practitioner is in your own heart. The more clearly you know what it is that you want or need, the more effectively you can find the perfect practitioner.

Know your rights!

In the United States, and most other parts of the world, tantric healing is not regulated by any government agency. Just about anyone can post an ad on craigslist calling themselves a sexual healer. Being clear about what you should expect from a practitioner will help you quickly weed out people who are not genuine professionals.

Understand Some of the Basic Terms

Here is a very quick guide to some of the ways practitioners may present themselves or their sessions, and some related terminology:

A classical dakini: the Vajra Rose Dakini. Learn more about the origins of tantra.

Often, an experienced practitioner will work in more than one of these roles or capacities!

Now Start Looking!

But where?

Word of Mouth

This may seem unlikely at first, and you may not want to tell your close friends you are looking into sexual healing. TMI!

The Internet, of Course

There is no comprehensive or authoritative index of tantric practitioners and other sexual healers. One of the most reputable sites for professional practitioners of various schools and traditions is the Sacred Eros Directory. Many schools provide indexes to their practitioners, so it’s also worth reviewing:

  • Tantric massage <city>
  • Lingam massage <city>
  • Yoni massage <city>

A Note on Gender

Generally speaking, there are far more women doing this work than men, for the simple reason that there are far more men looking for this service than women. It will be easier to find a female practitioner than a male practitioner, and some of the male practitioners will also be primarily working with male clients.

What if there’s nobody near me?

If you are outside major urban areas, there may be no practitioners in your locale. In that case, you may want to plan some travel! As mentioned above, tantric healing massage in particular has a way of getting to the root of deep-seated issues quickly, often in just a few sessions. Many clients are surprised to find that issues they’ve been working with talk therapists or even medical professionals for years to address are largely resolved in just a few sessions. It may seem like a big investment, but the sheer efficiency of a talented dakini or daka is well worth it. It’s important to note that if you are seeking out tantric healing, plan on at least 2–3 days between sessions to allow yourself to process and integrate each experience.

Review Your Options

So, perhaps now you have a list of options! Maybe even too many choices! What to do?

  1. Training. Depth of training (or the absence of it) does not necessarily mean the practitioner is or isn’t the right one for you. A long list of certifications is certainly not a bad thing: it indicates the practitioner cares deeply for this work and has a love of learning. But if your intuition is pointing away from a practitioner, don’t let a list of credentials persuade you otherwise. Likewise, if you feel drawn to work with someone who lacks credentials, you can find other ways to verify their skill. Any practitioner should be glad to put you in touch with satisfied clients; if a certain practitioner is hesitant to, consider that a red flag.
  2. Sexy photos. For most intentions, physical attraction is really not relevant. You’re not looking for a romantic partner! You’re looking for a skilled and gifted healer, teacher, and guide. But if there are a lot of photos, spend some time with their eyes. Let your intuition read the face of the practitioner.
  3. Testimonials. Everyone has some good sessions and can get some positive feedback from clients. Testimonials are a lovely part of many websites, but heck — they can be made up by the practitioner! They are worth reading, but don’t rely on testimonials alone.

Schedule a Consultation

Are you down to a short list? Maybe even one practitioner? It’s time to exercise your first right as a client: a brief, no-cost conversation.

Get the Most out of your Session

This is a big topic, and requires a full article!

Extra Tips for Women Seeking a Male Practitioner:

It is unfortunate that this needs a callout, but the fact is, it does.

What Next?

Congratulations! You have found a tantric healing practitioner.

Guide to sacred sexuality and sexual spirituality.